Losing my blogging virginity

As I sit deep in thought while all else dream, I find myself enjoying the presence of my little niece and decided it would be nice if I too started to write in a way that is available to others. I don't know that there are many curious about what goes on in my crazy head with my crazy thoughts, but now the option is there. Tonight I went to YMCA, and discovered I no longer have the luxury of free membership. One year later, they have figured out that they never billed me. Ahh well it was nice while it lasted. I went "spinning" for the first time in 2009, and it is left me excited beyond my own belief to train and improve my mountain biking skills. I can't wait to get back out on the trails, and hours upon hours on the open road. I have found a true love in biking...which for now, I will be content with that love.

Tomorrow I look forward to a day thought and perhaps hiking in the snow. That is if I can do so without falling on all of this insane ice! A lot has changed in my life in the past year, I've made many new friends, some I could see being a life-long addition. It has made me a bit more comfortable in my own skin. I think when you lose someone in your life who meant so much to you, it makes you ask so many questions and behave in ways you never imagined. Now for the first time in a couple years, I am happy with who I am. I'm not saying I'm where I need to be yet, but I am pleased with my advancement. The doors that have been opened for me by friends and family were so gracious, and so undeserved. If there is one thing I am confident I will never need to doubt in my life, it is that I have been surrounded by some amazing people who always keep the door open to their hearts.

It brings me sincere happiness to know I have come so far. I no longer feel that need for a significant other to depend on. Rather I have the confidence that with continuing to improve my own outlook on life and health things will not only fall into place, but I will have more to give in return than ever before. It will never seize to amaze me what one can be capable of, when they have first valued their own life. It is only then, that you are strong enough to bond it with another's soul. For now, I have healed from the fear of being alone and embrace it. Although that is not saying I am closed to the idea of love, only to the idea of forcing a love that is not true, committed and between two people willing to be the others strength when they can not muster it up on their own.

I have rambled enough for one evening. Until the sun sets again, it is now my turn to try to put my thoughts to rest, dreams to take over.

ps...I didn't realize this posted 2 hours prior, no central standard time on here! :)