hmmmm....and now deep thoughts by Jack...err Katie

2009-07-10T12:48:00.002-05:00

Life has been treating me pretty well lately. I've met a pretty amazing guy, just went to Alaska, now even more exciting...Jon may be putting an offer on his first house!! Unfortunately so is someone else. So we'll have to see how that goes. I'm really nervous for him! It's such a big move in life. A very exciting move if you don't get in over your head, but a huge move none the less. I really should be sleeping right now, since I work tonight, but I think I'm a little too nervous to sleep! YIKES! I will have to update this more when I'm actually willing to take the time to write. As of right now, I think I should just get some shuteye.

Happy Sigh

2009-05-15T10:12:00.002-05:00

Well...I figured it may be time to update this bad boy. Considering in the past weeks I've met a boy. It's still very early, but things seem to be going quite well. It's funny how we met...you'd think with all the dating sites I've tried that would be the only thinkable means. However, it was no where near so simple. It was actually through his sister, who was a patient of mine...whose husband used to be my ex-boyfriends boss. Nothing like putting a little twist of irony of things. lol. We have only been on three dates, but already find we miss seeing each other in between. It's nice to be missed. He's coming to the Dells this week. My family has yet to meet him, I'm taking it somewhat slow on the family front...and fast at the same time. He's coming to the Schmidt family Brewer game. So instead of meeting them one at a time, he is going to be thrown into the mix. Hopefully he can handle my insanely large fam!

I shouldn't spend too much time writing now. Considering I still haven't gone to sleep, what I should really be doing is either biking or sleeping. I work again in eight hours. But two of my five overnights are done, and then I am heading to Wisconsin Dells! Not bad for a little Pre Memorial Day get together. Still don't have any plans over Memorial Day weekend, but I'm hoping some things come up. I'm sure at the least a bbq should.

Well, I'm off to the land of sleep now. I'm sure I will update again soon!

Not much of a title for this one...

2009-05-06T02:19:00.003-05:00

Have I ever mentioned that working overnights can really mess with your sleep? I even stayed up the majority of the day yesterday so I could sleep at night, unfortunately, it still didn't happen. I've got a few exciting things coming up in my future. A backpacking trip! So exciting, I can't believe how blessed I feel to be able to go to Alaska! Financially I could never do it on my own right now, but a good friend of mine, used his miles to get me there. Not very many people are that lucky. We are going hiking in Denalli Park. I've never been on a backpacking trip like this before. Sounds like there are not cut trails. It will be interesting to see if I can hack it! I should probably warn my friend that I get a bit crabby if I get dehydrated and hungry...I learned that on the last trip I went on. Then again, that was years ago...so, hopefully if I work out in the next month a bit more so that I am in better shape, I hope to be able to hold my own.

If I'm really going to make it out on my biking venture tomorrow, I hope to be able to get some sleep tonight. I haven't hit a single trail yet this year!! Can't wait! I'm hoping I don't wipe out too many times! Maybe I'll be able to find someone to bike with me, that would be great.

Oh...and since I'm usually good at keeping the entire world updated on my dating life...still single lol. Not loving the dating scene, but want to meet someone that I can see myself and they see themselve in a real relationship...unfortunately, this seems to mean going through a lot of dead-ends first. But, things may be turning around. I'm doing a lot of great things with my life right now. Trying to get myself out of the hole I've been in, and I think I'm finally starting to get there. Needed to close the chapter of the last book, so I can start the next reading the next one.

Tis' 3:30 in the morning...so why not write?

2009-04-15T03:24:00.003-05:00

Could be a long night, so I thought I'd take a short break to update the blog. It was a pretty day, got some sleep in and am now at work and in the morning, I will be babysitting Lexi and Tyler. What more can a aunt hope for. Also, I was asked to be on a team for biking this summer! Very excited about that one...and the fact that they don't mind that I can't make all of the races is even better! One more great thing! There is a special deal at work, so I can FINALLY get that bike rack I've been saving up for! Since that is the initial reason I started working at O2 anyway. I think I am going to put in the order this week, and I am picking up some extra shifts this months, so that I can hopefully make a couple more races this summer. I'm a bit disappointed in how little I've gotten out on my bike so far this spring, but I think that should change a lot in the coming months. Especially once I can throw my bike on my car and hit the trails again! SUCH A GREAT FEELING!! Well I should get back to work now.

2009-03-27T00:03:00.002-05:00

I was really looking forward to spending a lot of time on my bike over my days off...but I'm finding instead, sadly, that I am a bit of a fair weather biker in the beginning of the season. It always seems like at the end of the season I'm willing to take it pretty late, but in the beginning, getting out in that cold is always a bit more intimidating. I think part of it's that I know I'm not in as good of shape yet...so to get all ready to go for what will probably be a ride to prove how out of shape I am...just doesn't get my blood flowing. I am looking forward to going to the Y tomorrow to swim my first set of laps in ages. But I've decided to do the High Cliff Sprint Triathlon...so I think I need to get my flappers going again. I tried to track down my goggles, but it's looking like I may need to invest in a new swim cap and goggles, since you seem to lose a lot of personal items when you move about every six months. Ahh, it will be nice the day I'm back on my feet financially, because right now this is killing me!!! I can't ever relax. But right now I am just grateful to have a job. As three more of my friends lost their jobs this week. The economy is getting hit so hard. I really hope this is getting close to the low point, because it is getting so hard for so many people.

So far it seems my friends have been able to keep their heads held high, and are looking at this as an opportunity rather than a road block. I am quite proud of them for charging full speed ahead and grabbing the situation by the horns. I will pray for them and hope their situations are better soon, and they are able to grow from this.

I think that's about it for tonight. I was supposed to be working right now, but two patients canceled so I was sent home with low census. Now I'm off until Tuesday...plenty of time to enjoy some working out!! And hopefully putting a plan together to help get life of the right track...one with a bit brighter future and fewer obstacles.

So stressed...

2009-03-24T12:32:00.002-05:00

Yeah, so I'm a bit stressed right now and would love nothing more than to head outdoors and workout in my favorite way...on two wheels! But it is freezing out there with all that rain! So it looks like a day of working out indoors. I think to help myself decompress a bit, I may go and get the ingredients to put a roast in the slow cooker. Maybe a good healthy meal will help me. I know exactly what is stressing me out...the problem is resolving it. It all comes down to money, heartache and the value of relationships. Hopefully a good workout will feed me some answers. I know what I would tell someone else to do in my shoes...unfortunately it's me in my shoes, and it's a lot easier said than done.

On a positive note, a few friends and I are training up for a sprint triathlon in June. Same day as the group birthday party is planned...we'll see if we keep it that day or not. But it's a friend from high school and a newer friend that are for sure planning on doing it with me. By with me...I mean, we will be doing it on the same day, by no means will we stick together throughout the "race". (not a race for me, more of a motivator) I look forward to having another goal in mind...once I sign up it's official. The good thing is, with sprints, the majority is biking, so even if I don't train a ton, I'm confident I can finish right now...just not well. I'm also thinking about hitting up a Zumba class. Thought it could put a fun twist on the workout circuit. Since I'm not trying to go pro in any one sport, I'd like to experience as many fun things as possible.

I need to run now to get that roast brewing.

EUROPE I'm coming back!

2009-03-09T01:13:00.003-05:00

Tonight, I went to work only to learn my patient's didn't. So here I am wide awake at 1:16am. But it's not all bad. It leaves me time to plan my trip to Europe. I am pretty excited for my adventure abroad once again. Also amazed by the price of flights I've found. So far the plan is to fly into London, where I can hit up a bit of memory lane, then off to Munich and Halsbach for Susi's wedding. A couple days later we will catch a flight to Paris, then off to Rome for a couple days and finally flying to Madrid before back to London and home. It sounds so exciting. I can't wait to show my parents and see so many new places myself. I've only been to the Madrid airport, and have never been to Paris or Rome. I'm still trying to talk my friend Samme into joining. I think she would love it too!! I'm also visiting a friend in Germany while I'm in town for the wedding. I really should be writing to the Kofelsbergers to let them know that plans are finally coming together!

I'm also thinking about moving to my folks house for a while. They both work out of town so the house is always empty. Making it easy to sleep during the day. It's where I've been staying for the most part anyway, and it would be a better place for Benny until I'm able to get my own place.

I should probably try to get some sleep now. Since I'm back to days starting tomorrow until Friday. Can't wait to write about the flights being booked!

6am and I haven't slept a wink...

2009-02-25T05:58:00.002-06:00

So it's 6am and my body is completely out of wack...but for some reason, I am 100% okay with it. I feel great tonight. Last night when I couldn't sleep I was able to watch the two shows I am hooked on right now. The Bachelor and House...I'm also liking the combination of Gray's and Private Practice. Christi and I were thinking we may need a Bachelor Grand Finale party. For those of us who have been placing bets on the winner...Melissa for sure, in case you were wondering! I think he may have made a mistake sending home Jillian though...did you see that hot tub scene. Right..."only friends", who was he trying to kid. He just wanted to make his decission next week that much easier! I am looking forward to it. I've never really been one to keep up to date on reality tv, but thanks to Jenny and Christi I'm hooked this season.

Went to see "He's just not that into you" tonight. Haha, I saw myself in one of the characters WAY too much. She rambles, and says and does all the wrong things at ALL the wrong times! That reminds me all too much of myself. It was nice to hit Bazil's as well and share a drink with a friend. I hope we do it again soon!! Next time, I'm getting the Blue Moon though, the entire time we were drinking our beers, hers looked better to me, and there just wasn't time for two.

As for the plan today...hoping to get some shut eye...heading to the gym and working this evening. Only four hours, so nothing real heartbreaking. Then I am off until Thursday...next Thursday. Hoping to have some fun this weekend. No real huge plans yet though. Maybe now I should try to get some sleep as the rest of the world rises. Someday I will find a normal schedule!

Updates Shmupdates...

2009-02-20T07:28:00.003-06:00

You know...sometimes no matter how good or how bad life is at the moment sometimes you just don't feel up to writing. The even more funny part to me is that I really didn't think anyone read these. Thank you for caring!!! That is quite sweet. I've been up to a few things since I last wrote. Christi and I had a wonderful time in Florida, though very cold! I didn't think that was supposed to happen in Florida...but you know you are with a good friend when plans go nothing like you had planned and you are still laughing with each other as you hug goodbye. I will never think of a "Jack in the box" the same again...or Beyonce! I will definitely NEVER drive through another security gate without thinking of our "Salsa Lover"...ahhh got to love her! Oh yeah...and TGIF+Trannies dancing+stolen gift cards=only to Katie and Christi!!!

Ummm...what else...James asked Teri to marry him last week, of course she said yes, and I am very happy for them. But I have to admit I'd be lying if I said I'm not wondering when my turn will come about.

Been slacking on working out, worse than I have slacked in a long time. I intend to nip that in the butt this week. So hopefully you'll be hearing about my positive progress again next week. I was doing pretty well until I went on vacation. Darn vacations will do that to you, LOOK OUT!!!

Oh yes! How could I forget!! I got in touch with an old friend again!!! Roberto, it is wonderful to be in touch with him and able to talk to him on a regular basis again! It was tough to keep in touch by phone. Now we have had a lot of time to catch up and hope to see each other this summer if I am able to go to Europe. Which obviously I hope to be able to...just need to make sure I can with the way the economy has been. I don't want to be too frivolous.

I think this is enough of an update for one day. Time for me to call it a night after a long night at work.

Look out Florida, here we come!!

2009-01-27T14:27:00.003-06:00

Not much longer before Christi and I will be officially starting our vacation! I can't believe this is the first time we have ever gone away for a week with just the two of us. We are both very excited although I imagine it will be quite a bit different for her having a hubby and a baby at home to miss like mad. We leave in just over in an hour to meet half way...I think I will count tomorrow as the official once we pick up our car and are off to Orlando.

Life in the world of a dreamer

2009-01-20T04:00:00.000-06:00

Life as a dreamer...is it a blessing or is it a burden? I think many could argue this either way. But I am left with many questions, is a dreamer one that chases the stars knowing they are well out of there reach or do they chase them to dance in skies? Is a dreamer ever content? Do I ever hope to be simply content? Satisfied and comfortable. Although part of that sounds delightful, I think I am one both blessed and cursed by living the life of dreamer. Will I ever learn to stop dreaming for five minutes and focus on what is right in front of me? Is it bad that one night I fall asleep to thoughts of falling in love and starting a family, and the very next night I dream of moving to an orphanage in Africa to help children whose family did not survive long enough to raise them out of infancy? Although I have to admit, the location changes, but the dream of falling in love never seems to fade. No matter how many dating strikes I claim to go on, and how I will always tell you I'm not ready. But not ready for what? Not ready for another heartbreak...that part is true, but I am very ready to give my heart to the right person. Unfortunately, I have yet to discover that, and in the meantime...not ready for the trials of dating.

Tonight I find myself thinking of a man I once loved. Wondering, am I once again just being a dreamer? Am I putting my heart in a place I know will not develop simply to protect myself from handing the key over. I thought tonight of places I would be happy, but a place will not change the level of my happiness. I am happy here, I have my family, my friends. The fate of being a dreamer, often requires indulging your gypsy blood. I know I will live elsewhere in my life, I also know I'm a planner, but none of my plans go accordingly. I may plan on moving this summer...but I won't but then one day wake up, make up my mine and a few weeks later I'm off to learn a new culture, a new surrounding, and a love for new people. I'd love to hear more people's viewpoint, is being a dreamer a gift or a curse?

2009-01-16T01:39:00.000-06:00

Tonight I'm up late doing research on reasons why I should get studded tires on a fixie. So far, I'm pretty convinced that it's a good investment. Everyone that I've spoken to about riding fixed thinks it really helps to improve their cadence...and Lord knows I have more than enough room to improve. I could get studded tires for my current bike, which I more than likely will do, having the luxury of being able to buy things at cost makes it a very reasonable investment. Also being able to get a bike at cost...makes that part more foreseeable. Ahh the list of many things on my dream list right now. New bike rack, the Nikon D40X...yeah, that's right Ryan, looking into it a bit further, you've swapped me from wanting the D80. And now a fixie. I've been able to make it to spinning more often and have been pleased with my ambition to condition my body. So far I would say I'm right on track. Please don't mistake this for being the fast track by any means. I love being surrounded by outdoor enthusiasts on a regular basis! The increased opportunity to be around people who are willing to help me improve myself and my ability on a bike is appreciated so much, unfortunately those who deserve to hear it don't enough. Achieving certain physical goals has become a priority in my life recently...I shouldn't say recently, it's always been a priority, but it has certainly stepped up a notch. I am really pleased with my independence, but more so appreciate all of the people that are a part of my life. I can't say enough in regards to all of you. Wow...I'm really rambling now. Oh yeah...I was introduced to a new singer today! I really like her so I wanted to share what Ryan shared with me. Her name is Kina Grannis, definitely check her out!

2009-01-14T04:32:00.000-06:00

Once again it's late at night and I'm awake while others are sleeping. Only this time, I need to be awake in a few hours to make it to spinning and work at O2. I went to spinning a couple days ago, it was an instructor I haven't had before. He was great! Pushed us so hard! Definitely excited to continue going, although yesterday I didn't make it, because I wasn't feeling too well.

I did go on the date, and he'd like to see me again. He is a very nice guy, so we'll see where it goes. I think he's looking to move a bit faster than I'm prepared for though. Already talking about exclusivity, and I'm not to that point. Can't go from a dating boycott to a relationship that quickly. The next relationship I will be in should be a very slow moving one. Or maybe if I find the right guy things will go a bit faster. Only time will tell. But right now, I'm still thinking I like being on my own. Dang, I need to try to get some more sleep! This whole being awake at 4:30 in the morning thing just isn't right! At least I have a few more hours until it is time to be at spinning...gotta prepare for the summer! Two weeks from today I will be in Florida!!! Heading to Wisconsin Dells for a few days this week, that should be fun as well!

2009-01-11T19:11:00.001-06:00

So the time is counting down until I need to make some decisions of my preparedness. The votes are in, and according to friends...they will be disappointed if I don't have stories tomorrow night. Guess tomorrow...or the next day details will come about.

2009-01-10T15:08:00.000-06:00

The debate whether I'm ready to date right now seems to be lingering quite strongly this weekend as a pretty persistent and attractive man tries to tempt me. Do I wait for a past relationship that may never come? One who is far away and consumed by his career right now, or do I say what the heck and see what a simple date brings? So far I have told him I am comfortable on my own right now, a decision he seems eager to prove wrong. It's nothing with him that's makes me hesitate, he is very good looking and funny...haha, perhaps a bit too good looking. He's a biker, which everyone knows I'm attracted to my bikers! In his younger days he was a bmx biker, loved the adrenaline it brought him. Now he has been finding a new love in mountain biking. My friends at work are trying to convince me I'd be crazy not to go out with this guy, but a large part of me wants to wait and see what happens in other areas. Which I've been told is just as crazy. Ahhh, the lovely life of a single 28 year old!

Onto other topics, I got my new YMCA membership yesterday. I'm pretty happy I took care of that so quickly, considering my old pass ended this week. Guess that's a good sign that I enjoy using it. I was even more thrilled to learn they now offer FIVE spinning classes a day during the week. That is plenty of time to make it to a class! Oh yeah, and I will be needing to hit up the classes a lot, because my greatest friend in life and I are going on our first solo get away! We are heading to Florida for a week in just three weeks!!! I can't wait! We just decided last week that we wanted to go, next thing we knew we found two flights for $135 bucks and booked the timeshare.

I'm also in a biggest loser competition...pretty emberassed by my weigh in. I can't believe the tonage I've added over the Holidays! I've gained 7 pounds!!! Guess that's what happens when I let the off-season excuses roll in. Fortunately, I'm out of that mode and look forward to sharing my progress with anyone interested. I weighed in at 145.5 and my personal goal weight is 120. That's quite a ways to go, but for some reason it isn't too intimidating to me considering I lost so much after the days when I was sick. I still can't believe I ever weighed 177!!! I'm giving myself until September to hit 125, I suspect the last five to ten pounds are going to take some fine tuning, and may take a bit later. It's between I 115 to 120 that I begin to cut. I am REALLY excited about continuing to improve my aerobic ability and to eventually be where I once was if not even better! So ladies look out, because I am a girl on a mission this summer...and if you are on the trails, you take a major roll in my mission. I mean that in the most loving way possible. :)

Well, I better try and get a bit more rest before dinner, since I work again tonight. Maybe Monday I will let you know whether I give the date with the hunky biker a shot. ;)

Contemplating life changes

2009-01-09T14:52:00.000-06:00

Scrolling through different ideas for life right now and I find myself confused by my love for biking and the outdoors with the idea of starting a business of my own with others geared towards the outdoors. My confusion is this...Do I stay in Wisconsin near my family and the ones I love most in this world and settle my roots by attempting my hand at a business? Am I prepared to be in one place to run a business? The time away from the things I love to run a business? While debating the business front I find myself craving the lifestyle I had in San Diego. My love for biking is only getting greater each year and the climate and lifestyle is far more biker friendly there. Today I saw a job posting that is very tempting to me. It is a Monday through Wednesday, paid for 40 hours a week position in Oceanside, CA. A place where biking to work is a way of life, not a shocker to your co-workers. A place where I could do it without gathering 12 layers of clothing to avoid losing toes in the process. That would give me three full days a week for biking and beach adventures. With this in mind, am I prepared to live so far from my family? Prepared to miss my niece and nephews key development stages. I would miss being a part life. Thus I have much thinking to do, however, in the mean time, I'm thinking it wouldn't hurt to hand in a resume.

Losing my blogging virginity

2009-01-08T00:23:00.001-06:00

As I sit deep in thought while all else dream, I find myself enjoying the presence of my little niece and decided it would be nice if I too started to write in a way that is available to others. I don't know that there are many curious about what goes on in my crazy head with my crazy thoughts, but now the option is there. Tonight I went to YMCA, and discovered I no longer have the luxury of free membership. One year later, they have figured out that they never billed me. Ahh well it was nice while it lasted. I went "spinning" for the first time in 2009, and it is left me excited beyond my own belief to train and improve my mountain biking skills. I can't wait to get back out on the trails, and hours upon hours on the open road. I have found a true love in biking...which for now, I will be content with that love.

Tomorrow I look forward to a day thought and perhaps hiking in the snow. That is if I can do so without falling on all of this insane ice! A lot has changed in my life in the past year, I've made many new friends, some I could see being a life-long addition. It has made me a bit more comfortable in my own skin. I think when you lose someone in your life who meant so much to you, it makes you ask so many questions and behave in ways you never imagined. Now for the first time in a couple years, I am happy with who I am. I'm not saying I'm where I need to be yet, but I am pleased with my advancement. The doors that have been opened for me by friends and family were so gracious, and so undeserved. If there is one thing I am confident I will never need to doubt in my life, it is that I have been surrounded by some amazing people who always keep the door open to their hearts.

It brings me sincere happiness to know I have come so far. I no longer feel that need for a significant other to depend on. Rather I have the confidence that with continuing to improve my own outlook on life and health things will not only fall into place, but I will have more to give in return than ever before. It will never seize to amaze me what one can be capable of, when they have first valued their own life. It is only then, that you are strong enough to bond it with another's soul. For now, I have healed from the fear of being alone and embrace it. Although that is not saying I am closed to the idea of love, only to the idea of forcing a love that is not true, committed and between two people willing to be the others strength when they can not muster it up on their own.

I have rambled enough for one evening. Until the sun sets again, it is now my turn to try to put my thoughts to rest, dreams to take over.

ps...I didn't realize this posted 2 hours prior, no central standard time on here! :)